The Breed

This particular Isle of Dogs isn't home to chirping Cockernees and power-suited city brokers making and breaking multi-national companies in Canary Wharf.

No, this apparently deserted haven is the unnatural habitat of a pack of ravenous, scientifically-tweaked hounds who've already made a dog's dinner of a bikini-clad babe.

She made the mistake of straying from her boat...and now five college pedigree chums drop in by seaplane hellbent on a lazy summer in an idyllic log cabin.

Well, it would be idyllic if it wasn't for the fact that the cabin is actually a big kennel...and Fido and his pals aren't feeling hospitable.

Director Nicholas Mastandrea cut his teeth working alongside George A Romero and Wes Craven (who produces) but fails to stamp an original mark of his own.

German Shepherds providing mild peril have seen actively terrifying service in previous movies straining on the leash of an SS stormtrooper. Here they look like Lassie in a slight strop.

It's not helped by some yawn-inducing horror staples - fuses failing in a dark basement - and Mastandrea's craven inability to suspend disbelief - a must in the illogical world of the horror/thriller.

What makes it worse is that you find yourself suppressing a giggle rather than a gasp when dim situations arise such as a couple of feral mutts taking over the seaplane escape route on which our motley crew have pinned their hopes.

Lost's Michelle Rodriguez is the one recognisable face and is rewarded with a role which sees her performing acrobatics on a zip wire minutes after an arrow has slammed through her calf.

Tediously formulaic and uninspired, it's all a bit barking with the spine-snapping punch of an average episode of Scooby Doo.

Tim Evans