Halloween II (2009)

Director: Rob Zombie

Stars: Malcolm McDowell, Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane, Brad Dourif, Sheri Moon Zombie

Year: 2009 Running Time: 105 mins Rating:

Rob Zombie's sequel to his 2007 remake sees the persistent serial killer Michael Myers (Tyler Mane) - still very much alive and well - biding his time, eating raw dog meat and waiting for the next Halloween so he can finish off those who escaped his clutches first time around. Malcolm McDowell reprises the Donald Pleasance role as the shrink making a career out of the lunking killer, Scout Taylor-Compton is back in the Jamie Lee Curtis role, while sharp-eyed viewers will spot a tired-looking Margot Kidder as her therapist. Weird Al Yankovic has the best line, asking, "Are we talking about the Austin Powers Mike Myers?"

Review

The IMdb trivia on Charles Manson fan Rob Zombie includes, "Loves horror movies", thus proving the old adage, you kill what you love.

When directors such as Terry Gilliam only get a film released every other unicorn sighting, it is depressing that the financially troubled Weinsteins saw fit to stump up fifteen million dollars so Zombie could follow his moronic retelling of Halloween with this joyless sequel.

Referencing the original 1981 movie only in an opening hospital based bloodbath, Zombie's script is an illogical tumour that links young heroine Laurie Strode (Taylor-Compton) with the unstoppable Michael Myers (Mane) via a surprise given away in the first film (they're brother and sister, haunted by visions of their dead mum - Mrs Rob Zombie, Sheri Moon).

But, this is all the annoying stuff to which Zombie barely pays lip service. Rob's here for the bludgeoning violence, and he dishes it out with psychotic abandon. Only, the face stamping, the cheek suturing, the interminable knifing, the decaptiations, the tyre irons to the kidneys, the heads bouncing off mirrors, all shot through what looks like late stage cataracts, are stultifyingly dull, dull, dull.

Barely even bothering to breathe life into the cast before offing them, Halloween II boasts perhaps the most uninteresting selection of low-lifes since... well Rob's first Halloween stab.

The charisma free Taylor-Compton's straggly-haired heroine is a crashing bore, but has almost no script to work with. Brad Dourif returns as the town sheriff, though why is anyone's guess, but the chief villain is Malcolm McDowell.

Top-billed and giving the whole enterprise a sheen of respectability, even quoting A Clockwork Orange, McDowell should be hiding his face (behind a presumably massive pay cheque).

Worst of all, McDowell's quick exit at the perfunctory climax renders his storyline, seeking redemption after cashing in on the first film's murders with a sensational bestseller, practically redundant.

Rob Zombie cannot direct traffic. His approach to horror is akin to slowing down at a muti-car pile-up and rubbernecking to veterbrae dislodging extent. All of which makes the references to bona-fide terror classics Night of the Living Dead, Vampyr, and Psycho doubly offensive.

Ignore this film now.