Dumplings

Had Edgar Allan Poe been alive today, he would have relished this macabre tale of vanity, adultery and cannibalism.

Chinese lovely Bai Ling (familiar from Wild Wild West and Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow) plays 'Aunt' Mei, a kooky Hong Kong dumpling-maker whose wares have proven powers of rejuvenation.

Mei procures the active ingredients for her sought-after savouries from her former workplace across the Chinese border - an abortion clinic. To put it delicately, she specialises in what you might call 'umbilical cordon bleu'.

Washed-up actress Mrs Li (Miriam Yeung) arrives at Mei's shabby apartment to try this miracle cure, anxious to turn back her body clock and regain the attentions of her philandering husband (Tony Leung Ka Fai).

The longer it takes to see the results, the more desperate Mrs Li becomes and the more extreme the measures she's willing to take. Ethics be damned, she needs meat... and the fresher the better.

Dumplings was first seen in embryonic form as part of the horror anthology Three... Extremes. Regrettably, writer/director Fruit Chan's baby shows few signs of development even though it's been carried to full term.

Like a particularly icky offering from Tales Of The Unexpected or Hammer House Of Horror, the story was more effective as a short, sharp shock.

While having a faint stab at social commentary (future generations don't stand a chance in our all-consuming world), Fruit's protracted labour suffers from a lack of tension and leave too many loose ends. The subtitles are a bit of a dog's dinner too.

But the sound effects are deliciously slurpy and squelchy and the grossly inclined will lap up the abortion-in-progress and all those chopped-up foetuses, so elegantly framed by legendary cinematographer Christopher Doyle (Hero).

Bon appetit.

Elliott Noble