Since childhood, handsome D’Leh (Steven Strait) has held a torch for blue-eyed beauty Evolet (Belle) who is destined for greatness – according to the tribe’s theatrical mystic Old Mother (Mona Hammond, who interestingly has the OBE for services to drama).

But even after single-handedly felling a mammoth and receiving the coveted White Spear, D’Leh only gets to prove his worth when Evolet is snatched by ‘four-legged demons’ – fearsome pillagers who need slaves to build their faraway pyramids.

Led by seasoned warrior Tic’Tic (Cliff Curtis), the rescue party makes like Frodo and co. to trek over snow-clad mountains, through steamy jungles and into the endless desert in the flick of a mastadon’s tail.

While covering this not-in-any-textbook continent, D’Lea battles giant killer dodos, befriends a sabre-toothed tiger, and gathers together all the other clans whose people have been enslaved.

Despite having a born leader in the multi-lingual Nakudu (Joel Virgil), whitey takes charge and the United Tribes of Benetton then get a bit lost before massing against the evil empire and its sacrifice-crazy priests.